Kang v Kodos

Kang Manifesto

Citizens of Earth, rejoice. Your future overlord has prepared a bold programme of progress, mandatory obedience and lightly charred infrastructure.

Policy pledges

One moon. Sensible. Efficient. Much easier to weaponise.
Universal healthcare, provided you define “healthcare” as being studied in a containment tube.
Tax reform so simple even humans can understand it: you give Kang everything.
Free hover-bus travel for all loyal subjects.
Immediate replacement of potholes with glorious tribute craters.

Why Kang?

Kang offers strong leadership, glowing confidence and a refreshing honesty about the conquest process. There will be no hidden agenda because the agenda will be projected directly into your dreams.

Vote Kang. It is not just a choice. It is the last choice you will need to make.

Kodos Manifesto

People of Earth, your democracy is beautiful, fragile and hilariously easy to bend. Kodos is ready to provide firm, tentacled guidance.

Policy pledges

A new golden age of accountability, where all accountability is assigned to Kang.
Mandatory national unity through synchronized trembling.
Investment in schools, hospitals and suspiciously large landing pads.
Green energy, mostly from the fear generated by televised debates.
Freedom of speech, provided speech begins with “All hail Kodos”.

Why Kodos?

Kodos brings compassion, vision and an enormous unblinking eye for detail. Unlike other candidates, Kodos will listen to ordinary humans before ignoring them at galactic scale.

Vote Kodos. The other alien is clearly worse. Probably.

Current results

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Foolish Human. Waste your vote: this is a two party system!